Tuesday, January 21, 2014

A force to be reckoned with!


Tuesday January 21, 2014 0818

            The other day, a subjective time period I can actually remember, The Goat Man and I went to the dollar store for shampoo and conditioner.  Although, I seem to have found peace with pissing in the woods, it still feels odd to shop at the dollar store.  Prior to this adventure the dollar store was a place where my grandmother shopped.  But this day we went to the dollar store.
            The night before somebody had broken into the dollar store and stole all of the non-perishable food items.  Nothing else was missing.  How disturbing is that?  I am not sure I even consider them criminals.  Maybe they were just providing for their children.  So many children on the streets these days in this record cold winter and the government does nothing.
            I do not think socialism when I think about the best government, but I believe in the old adage it takes a whole village to raise a child.  I see our world dividing in two.  It is those who find people more important than possessions against those that find possessions more important than people.  Those children are growing up in a world with no mercy, in a world where they have nothing to lose, and in a world where death is an everyday event.  They are strong and hardy.  They have immune systems of steel and they have remedies from nature.  Those Americans the government has forgotten with rebel.
            When the rebellion comes what side are you going to be on?  I, honestly, do not know where I stand, but I am starting to think about it.  I’m starting to wonder how I will protect my family, where is the best place for my family, and how prepared am I to survive through the battle?  I am not a fighter, but I need to stay safe until those that are fighting finish.  I need adversity for whatever conditions may come. 
            Each morning I come to the YMCA and I do my homework, chart for my job, and work out.  Yes, this fat female in her forties works out almost every morning at 0530.  I lift in the three digits, just 20lbs less that The Goat Man, not too bad.  I am weaker now since last year’s problem with the thyroid, but that is in the past and I am now a force to be reckoned with.  Never judge a book by their cover, right?
            I watch everyone socialize here at the YMCA.  Everyone here is very nice, but none of them seem to be concerned about people being shot in the movie theatre, only food being stolen from the dollar store, or the amount of homeless Americans, including children, are now apart of this world.  It has nothing to do with age, sex, religion, or race.  It has to do with a failing government, a struggling economy, and our leaders messed up priorities.
            I live in a country where I am allowed to post I am unhappy with the way things are going in my America and I love that!  I am worried that my right to feel this way and to talk about it is in jeopardy.  I sleep in a mini-van, but I lay down last night with a full belly and a warm bed with protection from the elements.  I just want the same for all Americans.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Shame on me!

This is taken from the link below.
I want to make sure the correct person gets credit for the photo.
           http://www.fullsailblog.com/cave-diving-dwarves-other-unconventional-rpg-characters/



Friday January 17, 2014

            I have been sick all week.  I cannot remember the last time I felt this bad.  It is to the point that people keep telling me how terrible I look.  The last couple of days I have slowly gotten better and today I made it to the YMCA dressed and upright.  I managed to finish my homework for this week and now I am writing to you.
            I stopped comments on my blog a few months ago when my very own daughter placed comments I thought inappropriate.  I was ashamed to be her mother.  I know over all she is a wonderful woman with a big heart, great values, and a drive to succeed, but like everyone else she has her moment.  She is human. 
            I am torn about whether I should have continued to allow comments because I got my first hate mail this week.  I am not talking about the message I received from Cindy (the camper from Crew Lake).  I received an eye opening reaction from a lady who showed excellent class and scolded me, as I should have been.  Unlike the hate mailer who was unable to speak mature, respectful, or honestly about this person they have never met, Cindy was honest and respectful.
            You may remember back in August I introduce Cindy and her son to you this way,
 “We met three new people today.  Cindy is a woman in her fifties that walks with a quad cane.  She was widowed three years ago.  She travels with Cory, her fifteen year old son and Brian.  It is unclear who Brian is because he stays in their Astro van most of the time and rarely speaks when he comes out.
            He is a mysterious man.  He stands tall, but is quite thin.  His hair was dark and his nose was large.  He would be cute except some indefinable trait sends his appearance toward ugly.  He had a large atom’s apple and his knee never stopped bouncing.            They have openly admitted to begging for money, stealing food, and having arrest warrants out for Brian.  It was clear our moral fortitude was different.  I found myself concerned about the values being taught to the young fifteen-year-old boy.”
            Her wisdom was unseen by me in the middle of my own crisis I was unable to understand any circumstances other than my own.  I think this may be why my God has sent me on this journey because I have seen thing, done things, thought things, and experienced things I would have never imagined in my world ever. 
            Cindy was hurtful in her response, but she was tactful and correct.  I have sent a message of apology and I would like to apologize now where everyone who read my false assumptions can read my humble realization I was wrong.  I do not deny that I make mistakes and every criticism I receive does not mean I was wrong, but when I know I am I will admit it.
            I now believe that under the right circumstances anyone will do anything.  I look back and think about our summer in Crew Lake (just babies to homelessness) I now see how big a heart Cindy has.  I do still worry about any kid who has to grow up homeless, but I know that Cindy has his best interest in heart.  The love between the two of them has always been apparent to me.  I have learned that sometimes in this world all you need is somebody to love you.
            I do not know if she will accept my apology that is up to her.  I would also like to thank you for the work boots because they have turned out to be a very precious commodity that The Goat Man benefits from.  I hope you are doing well and I wish the both of you all the best.
            Now back to the hate-mailers.  I do not wish to distribute negativity, hatred, or language like they express or I would post the comments they send anonymously (We can pretend I do not know who said them).  In my opinion, if you cannot identify yourself to me then you’re a coward and possibly unsure of yourself and what you truly believe in.  I make mistakes and I put my foot in my mouth, I have been put in my place, and I have been proven wrong and had to humbly admit it.  But, I am always myself.  I always stand up for what I believe in and I am never afraid to tell anyone my name.
            Please feel free to send me helpful, objective, critical critique of my writing and please feel free to ask me about my beliefs and challenge my thoughts because I am an intellectual and I am always looking to improve me.  But I do not have time for drama, name-calling, and time wasting.  I am busy living my life and contributing to society the best way I can.
            So, for the second time, (because you did not understand your place once before as well) please do not contact me in any way.  I do not want your friends or you via your friends to contact me.  I have no desire for you in my life at all.  Please send no email, no texts, no calls, no message on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or any others I did not mention.
            You have an obvious dislike for my lifestyle, my friend, my family and me.  Your rants and drama stirring messages are starting to worry me.  I wonder how far you may go to harass me.  All of it is unwarranted.  So, STOP!
            I apologize readers I needed to leave no room for misunderstanding.  But what I was saying is I think it is great that my simple thoughts (even sometimes wrong thoughts) are generating such emotion that I received hate mail.  I am a very happy writer today!  They took the time to read my things, think about me, and write and send a message.  I did not give them any thought.  Shame on me.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Reality is subjective


January 14, 2014 0711

            So much has happened I can hardly keep my head above water.  I feel like my focus has been drunk for the last year.  The vision is still blurry and the walk is still unsteady.  But the momentum is forcing me forward like a roller coaster in the dark.
            Like a lone wolf I continue on my path, each day going to work, doing my homework, and try to keep it together.  I have learned a few things in this rough drunken night.
1.     If the road has no road sign it is the one I am trying to find.
2.     If the house has no house number it is the one I want. (I think is should be illegal to not have a clear and visible house number on your house.)
3.     Disney is not as magical a place for me as it use to be.
            As I drive from house to house to see my patients without OnStar. (That car was repossessed last summer, thus thrusting me into a new life of decades ago.)  I use MapQuest, memory, and common sense.  Thank goodness I learned how to read a map and how to read addresses.  I function, once again, without a smart phone, without OnStar, and without Internet to call my own.  I live in my car and use public Internet.  It is amazing what we are capable of.
            As I drive the most irritating thing is when all of the mailboxes are on one side of the road because without house numbers I have no way to know which address goes to which house.  I drive through windy roads, stop at corners where both roads have the same name, and I do it in any weather condition.  I would say except snow, but last week it was only 30 degree high for the daytime.  Any precipitation that day would have resulted in snow.
            I saw all the snow I want to see when The Goat Man and I went home for Christmas.  We drove 1300 miles to be denied even five minutes alone with the goat kids, unable to see The Goat Man’s family because plans changed without warning at the whim of others.  Then the Kindle Fire given to the goat daughter, that we spent close to $300 dollars customizing and placing parental controls on because that is what good parents do, was basically stolen and erased.  I cannot wait until Karma brings the unethical, inappropriate adult to her knees.  You did not have the password because it is not your Kindle Fire!
            This selfish behavior of takers is slowly overtaking what once was a good America.  At Disney world the crowd of non-English speakers walked into us like we were invisible, drove strollers over our feet without notice, and never apologize for almost knocking you over. 
            American’s are said to be rude, but those speaking English at Disney were saying ‘please’, ‘thank you’, and ‘excuse me.’  We were amazed at how many unattended children roamed the streets of Magic Kingdom, Epcot, and Hollywood Studios.  I do not mean teenagers.  I am talking about kids that have trouble walking and talking at the same time because they have just learned those skills.
no, this is not the same street sign
as the one above.  Look close.
            In one particular line a dark haired boy of about seven or eight began to stand in line with us.  His mother was back about four people.  She once looked up from her smart phone and stopped texting to tell him to come back to her side.  The boy simply said “no” and continued doing whatever he wanted.  How sad is that?
            There is no parent that doesn’t make mistakes.  But children are precious commodities and sometimes one simple moment of disinterest is enough to lose them forever.  This world is becoming a scary place to raise a child.  What has our society placed as a priority? Drugs? The newest phone? Social media? Or possibly society no longer places priority in society.
            So those that follow this blog please know that The Goat Man and I are trudging along in this world we live in.  We are bouncing back from the blows and celebrating the successes.  We long for a day to be in nature together with the animals, but right now we struggle just to keep warm, healthy, and get enough money to eat.
            We heard I.H. passed away not long after Thanksgiving.  My book will address the haunting in that house.  I wonder if the ghost left when she died or if they are still there?  Reality is so subjective.