Tuesday February 4, 2014 0941
A very surreal morning with the knowledge that today we lay my Grandma in the ground. We have gathered the past two days, but this day was different because this day it was over. This day made Grandma's death over. This day means tomorrow we move forward in the circle of life, but I wanted to do was sit in this moment and be with my Grandma. Even knowing she is at peace in her new home with my Grandfather it was hard to let her go, but upon her leaving I wrote this Eulogy.
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| The last day I saw my Grandma alive. She is here with my granddaughters, and her great-great-granddaughters. |
There
are stories I could tell you about being left in a pumpkin patch, but I do not
honestly remember that day. I could go
on about the tigers that now mark my parents driveway. I went with my grandparents the day they
picked them out, but that is not one of the memories that bring the essence of
my Grandma. I could talk about her brownies, but all of us in this room have
eaten them. But, I think she is explained best when I simply say she is
my Grandma. She was “Grandma” to every one. My friends, my children, and everyone she met
called her Grandma.
I was here in October to say my
good-byes, so when I heard she was about to pass I did not know if I would make
the long journey from Florida to repeat a good-bye she cannot hear. I secretly have this belief that if I had not
come she would have haunted me saying, “You went to your other Grandma’s
funeral.” But the reason I am here is
because no one else could have impacted my life the way she did.
I received a text at 3:34 in the
morning informing me of the news. I read
the text about 4a.m. just minutes after my boyfriend had left for work. As I lay alone in my bed and cried the
morning away all I wanted to do was jump up onto my kitchen counter and eat
graham crackers and milk.
I remember the lilac bushes around
her front porch. They were purple and white, but mostly purple. I
have always loved the smell of lilacs. In Florida lilacs do not
grow. There is a nice smelling impostor, but to those of us who have
experience of the lure of a lilac know it smells just a smidgen differently.
My cousins and me would play every Sunday while the entire family gathered in
the garage and ate all the good cooking. The one thing my family does
well is eat. The porch was surrounded almost completely with bushes,
trees, and lilacs like a secret garden. I have countless hours of play on
that porch. I think of the lilacs every time I drive by the old house.
I have realized as I have gathered
with family I only see at events like this that even now Grandma is holding
this family together. She would be happy
to see all of you here today and the past few days getting reacquainted,
talking, laughing, and remembering.
April said it best when she said, “ She was the glue
that held our family together and in this sad time that has never been more
obvious. I have caught up with my cousins who I have lost contact with for many
years and it saddens me that it has been so long. They were my first friends
and it hardens my heart we have let Grandmas traditions go as we have gotten
older.”
We all have
memories of her dear to our heart. I remember writing mystery stories
with my cousin. I remember picking rhubarb and making rhubarb pie with my
grandma. All of us sat on her counter and ate bowls of graham crackers
and milk. I remember playing hide and seek in her boiler room and putting
on plays for all of the adults in the basement. For years, every one of us
kids hid Scott’s little grey mouse around the house and then her apartment.
Amanda remembers making pancakes
with Tammy while Grandma patiently watched from the little yellow table giving
advise. “We were making a terrible mess
in her kitchen creating something that was never gonna be edible.”
Her patients
did not stop there. April too remembers
a patient helpful Grandma, “She taught me to sew buttons.
She would be so patient as I learned and would sit for hours as I
practiced. She always made sure we had
the best time while we were with her and she always played with us. It was
nothing to be able to play restaurant and take any order to her and just like a
restaurant you would get your order. She would do my hair and let me sit under
the dryer. One time the curler got stuck in my hair. She would always chuckle
telling that story because we had to cut it out of my hair. “
Grandma
was always there for me whenever I needed her.
When I was younger Stacey and I would leave her letters on the bed
asking to stay the night with her and she would always ask our parents for the
okay like it was her idea. When I was
sick she gave me Verner’s floats, and when I needed a babysitter she watched my
children.
Her
legacy lives through me and it lives through them. She spent hours sewing, crocheting, and
knitting with Amber and Amber now teaches her girls. When Ania came to visitation yesterday she
sang a song to Grandma. My Grandma sang
songs to me about whatever we were doing at the time and I sang songs to my
granddaughter about whatever we were dong at the time. Now Ania sings her good bye.
Many
of us have used “Pee-Pee corns” to potty train our children. Some of us did not discover they were called
“Pee-Pee corns” until we were adults. I
am willing to bet every one of us in this room has something Grandma made or a
treasured recipe she has shared. It sure
would be nice to have measurements for the ingredients.
I remember my grandma fondly. Over the years I have travelled farther and
farther away from those lilacs, but I think of her every time I smell
lilacs. I think about the way she would crinkle up her nose and smile
from across the room. That crinkle was the same as a kiss or a hug.
She passed that onto my father; He too crinkles his nose.
I cannot hold her hand and tell her to quit worrying. I can’t crinkle my
nose for her. But I can write this
eulogy for her. Because we all know she
wanted nothing more than to feel the love we have brought here today and to see
us all together being family.
April writes my closing when she
says, “Going
to grandmas was just like all the stories you read, it was always the whole
family there. The adults upstairs and
the kids playing in the basement with plenty of treats and games to be done.
Not
matter what anyone can say she was the best grandma we all could have asked for
and my life is richer and more joyful with her being such a part of it.”
