An email I sent The Goat Man during my flight.

Hey beautiful,

The guy next to me is drinking cranberry apple juice. It says it is made from three juices. Does that make sense to you?

Wi-Fi says I’m connected, but I can’t do anything on FB or send this email.  I am so bored.

The lady on the other side of me is reading from her kindle and I want to steal it. I really miss mine.

There are two babies that I know of on this flight. One cried during take off (sounded really little) and the other one keeps screeching.

I’m gonna miss your warm naked chest tonight.  I just have to pray B---- is a distraction and I.H. doesn't steal those big arms away from me.

The two flight attendants look like Paula Dean and Queen Latifa!  The two of them just wished Sheila (sitting in 21D behind me) a Happy 50th birthday. Now take a second and picture the two of them singing. Yes, Paula has a southern accent. Talks like she was Dolly's best friend in the best little whore house in Texas.

It seems there is entertainment all around us.

There are egg noodles in the pantry (bottom cupboard, top shelf, all the way to the right when facing the cupboard) the turkey packet in the fridge needs to be used. There is tilapia in the freezer (top shelf under stuff) there is fresh and frozen. I’m not sure how much. Frozen veggies bottom drawer of the freezer.

Getting ready to land in North Carolina. Please do not forget to tighten the brakes on I.H's wheelchair.

Im on the second flight now.  It is still full and I am still sitting in the middle seat.

The guy by the window is almost as old as M----(my seven year old granddaughter) and so thin it grossed me out to watch him chew his snicker.

He is left handed and bouncing like a jumping bean. He is handwriting a letter about a position he just took as an oncology doctor. Yeah! No shit!

Our flight attendants are three stooges; Jennifer Lopez in 10 years, Rhoda, and Dean Cane. What concerns me is that I met the pilot and Red Green is flying this plane! I hope he is handy (not handsome) for the next hour and nine minutes.

I lost my lucky evil eye ring on the last flight, almost crash landed, and now I’m on Red Green's plane sitting in row 13 headed to Detroit in a plane full of white people.

I am so screwed! It was nice knowing you. If I should die the naked pictures from the shower are on this phone.

My battery is low and the book Kat loves so much is not grabbing me. I am on page 98/276 and I couldn't care less about the character.  I really like to be walking around the woods with you right now. (OMG what have you done to me?)  I’d like to take you to the field by the tower in Crews Lake and watch the sunset.

Ok I love you bunches! I will call when I get to a phone. This will send when I hit the free Wi-Fi in Detroit, so when you get it you know I made it.

Love you beautiful.

The love of your life.