I was chasing butterflies this morning....

August 1, 2013 8:24pm

            This is the end of my second day homeless.  I thought yesterday was going to be what made me crumble, but I am still here today.  Looking back there is a lot of reasons I am in this predicament, but mostly it was love.

            It was the love of two small girls with big eyes and curious minds.  It was the love of one tall broken rugged man with ocean eyes, and the end of a marriage I didn’t want to let go of.

            I do not tell my story than for any other reason than to tell it.  I will write a book about the past year of my life, but for now I will just document the events of homeless.

            This morning I was chasing butterflies.  It was a large beautiful black butterfly with majestic blue tips.  He taunted me by landing just long enough for my iPhone camera to be ready then fly away.  I don’t have phone service anymore on the phone, but at every McDonald’s there is free Wi-Fi and everything else on the phone works.  It also has a pretty good camera.

            When I rounded the front of the truck when we finally decided we needed to go to the closest McDonald’s for the Wi-Fi and the dollar menu the butterfly rest calmly on my door handle.  With excitement I fumbled with my camera and managed a picture.  Today was a nature day.  I have pictures of the butterfly, a huge spider with a man face, a bunny, turtle, and alligator.

            Just yesterday my handsome counterpart, the Goat Man was sitting at the picnic table.  It is now the centerpiece of our humble abode.  As he sat at the picnic table a gopher turtle of medium size ventured near.  The turtle stopped sized up his six-foot frame and decided it was the better of the two.  The turtle charged at the speed of a sloth (high gear for a turtle) and attempted a low blow to his toes.  The Goat Man countered with a swift movement of his foot resulting in a kick moving the turtle back and a chuckle, but the turtle was not giving up.  He waddled in high gear in for a second attack.  Again the Goat Man used his previous strategy leaving the turtle a few feet away and beaten.  The turtle would have bowed his head as he passed in a wide circle around the Goat Man sitting at the picnic table if turtles could bow their heads.

            We are camping in a campground called Crews Lake.  We can only stay for seven days, but it is someplace we can call home for now.  We have a very small tent that even my short body cannot stretch my legs out and the Goat Man is a foot taller than me.  Eventually after much bickering and complaining he slept in the tent and I slept in the truck cab.  I was not okay with being alone, but I felt safer in the truck.

            I am not an outside kind of gal.  The bugs are bloodthirsty and they do not understand boundaries.  There are some places I don’t want them to see.  I don’t want to be scratching those places!

            It seems are cards are stacked against us.  We are both unemployed and today Labor Ready turned me away and would not even let me put in an application.  We called ahead because gas is very limited, and money is even scarcer than that, and they said they had tons of work.  They had work posted on their walls that I am more than qualified for, but they wouldn’t even take my application.

            I’m starting to get concerned, but I haven’t lost my fight yet.  I worry about the Goat Man.  On the outside he is holding it together, but I can see the stress and worry in his eyes.  But tomorrow is a new day.

            I don’t like the nights here.  In just the few minutes it took me to pull out the computer and begin this first entry the sun disappeared leaving only pitch black and bloodthirsty bugs.  The night is cooler than last night, but the sticky stays on you.  It is a general feel of uncomfortable and all your thoughts turn to a nice hot shower.  I do not know when I will get the next nice hot shower.

            This morning I sat at the picnic table still wet from last nights rain and tried to pull the black smudge from under my fingernails when I realized I had no way to contain the growth of my unwanted chin hair.  Now embarrassed to even be in the woods.  Soon I will be smelly, greasy haired, bug-bite welted with a full beard.  I’m pretty sure unemployment will be here to stay then. 

            The Goat Man came back down the trail from getting the dog some water and demanded my camera.  I enquired but his only response was, “I think you better stay here.”  I was convinced it was a snake.  However, when he came back with a picture of a very beautiful spider with long elegant stretched legs.  The spider had what looked like a blue face on its back.  The Goat Man said it reminded him of the monkey with the cane in The Lion King.  I had to agree.

            This spider was just the beginning.  Later after all of our options for gainful employment and a respectable life left us we went on a walk in this beautiful wood.  Suddenly I found myself face to face with a spider easily the size of my hand.  Thank God my hands are small! 

            He had built a majestic castle web between two trees, crawled to the center of his masterpiece and then patiently waited for the next nose to come his way.  Maybe he wasn’t blood thirsty like the bugs, but more interested in the snot in my nose.  He almost hit a jackpot, but at the last minute I saw him.

            I began to back away fully ready to turn and run.  I am not an outside kind of gal!  The Goat Man put his arms around me and interfered with my retreat.  I fought, of course, but all he could say is, “I got you.”  All I could think is, “So what! Get the hell out of my way!”

            After successfully avoiding the elusive spider we continued our walk out onto a long wooden pier.  We took a short walk on a long dock and at the end we watched a four-foot alligator float across the Lilly pads without a care in the world.  One can only have so many pictures of one boring alligator before they must move on, so move on we did.

            For an unknown reason this campground has a tower with four levels to stop and gaze at the beautiful Florida swampland.  The Goat Man says the levels are about twelve feet apart spanning up to fifty feet in the air.  I of course know the tower as tall. 

            Our cute little very selfish needy and annoying puppy had been pulling on the Goat Man’s arm the entire walk so he let her go as we climbed.  By the second level the energy filled puppy no longer twisted around our legs in attempt to trip us.  We called her name, but she would not come up the stairs.  After much coaching she finally went to the base of the stairs on the third level.  She was obviously uncomfortable and scared of heights.  I did not know dogs could be scared of heights since they see the world in two dimensions, but she most certainly was.

            But I remain hopeful and hold onto the good moments.  I was chasing butterflies this morning….