Monday, August 26, 2013

What do we do?

August 26, 2013 1610
            I sit at McDonalds angry.  I am not angry with any person, place, or thing.  I am angry at the situation.  I am literally stranded two hours from my stuff.  My truck rides on empty and soon it will be repossessed.  I have to have $110 for a program to finish my project in this class.  If I don’t finish I can kiss my PhD good-bye.  Then everything I have worked for my entire life is gone.
            When did taking care of everything become my responsibility?  My entire life I am waiting for somebody to take some of the stress, worry, and responsibility away.  It was clear to both of us last night that we have out stayed our welcome, but I don’t even have the gas to drive away.  I would have left last week if I had been able.
            So, yes I am angry.  Do I just walk away with what I can carry and hope for the best?  I think The Goat Man still has a tent.  We could spend the next month walking from McDonald’s to McDonald’s until we make it home.  I would then be bill free, probably in better shape, and have one hell of an experience to write about.
            I left Michigan because I had nothing left there.  I thought I would be working down here.  I did not want to leave my grandchildren behind.  I had a dream that I thought I could execute, but it turns out I was dreaming too big.  I wanted too much.  Somewhere along the way I forgot I am just an average woman with no super power.
            I am not broken.  I have a lot of fight left in me, but I grow very tired.  The things that matter to me are not material, but I cannot be settled when I need others to help me.
So, what do we do now?  Time is of the essence.

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